I am back!!

Today is my first day doing OMHS (Organizational Management of Health Services) at Klang, a short posting to expose us how the health service in Malaysia is managed, and to prepare us for the future when we become the people who will manage the health services. To us, this is just a very precious posting for us, more to relax but of course to some lesser extent, to learn. Ahha!!

Klang, is a place where i stayed here for a year when i started to do clinical year 2 years ago. It was such a memorable place for me, i still remember when i was leaving this place at the very last day of my stay here about a year ago, i thought that i will no longer come back to this place again, but today, i am stepping onto this land once again...

The picture that i took a year ago during the last day of my 1-year-stay here.

Coming back to the same place while my other course mates going some places further away for the same project, my first feeling was SIEN, or boring... because i think i had explored this place much enough during my 1-year-stay here and i could not think of any places that we can have fun. Certainly on the other hand, i am quite missing the food here, especially the Bak-kut-teh, had it during the dinner and so grateful, the taste was not changed so much, although my other friends were complaining the quality had deteriorated.

The hostel that we are currently staying now is actually the same hostel that i stayed before, the only different is the facilities had improved a lot!! The television in TV room become a LCD TV, got TV in the dining hall which i did not have it during my stay, and most importantly there are free WIFI everywhere in the hostel!! All were upgraded after my batch left this place. Haih, not of our luck, but i am also quite lucky to come back here again to enjoy what my juniors are enjoying. I think it maybe because of too much complains we made during my batch's stay here, so action had been taken and the resultant is now enjoyed by our juniors. Hope they really cherish with what they are given la...

Actually i loved and missed this place quite a lot, and i was quite happy when i knew i am to come back here again for a short stay for 1 week. The enjoyment can be found everywhere, i need not to rely on my course mates to have fun over here, i am pretty sure i can enjoy my works here to the fullest while listen to the noise created by the crow.. lolz!! And tonight, i am not quite sure what to do besides facing my laptop, and i have to squeeze with another 2 friends in a double room...!!!

A year later... for OMHS! The U in Perubatan was dropped already.

我没有错

闷在心里一整天了，我想说“我没有错“。心很痛，对着电脑，我只想来到这里乱写一通。不想讲话，只有这首歌了解我。

我的天使

我知道我不是最好的那个
但是我会努力做妳心目中想要的那个
一心只想要妳快乐
不知不觉伤害了妳的时刻
我只希望能尽快地不记得

请原谅我的自大和不成熟
毕竟我还是个大学生
想尽兴的玩就只有那几个月剩
害怕负起那些责任
可我相信终有一天会成个大男人

在心底深处依然是个大小孩
渴望别人的关注，谅解和呵护
如果我是个基督徒
我会请上帝为我安排一个看护
好让我不再那么的糊涂

爱你的人就像是你的天使
爱你为你付出不计较何时
等待中上帝为我安排的天使
原来一直在我的身边，说着我们的故事
而妳就是我一直要感激的天使
爱我和我爱的天使

Hopless.....

One of my course mate asked me, "why became so silent and isolated from the people?" I guess, he must have observed me for quite some times.

This did not happen just in a few days or few weeks, in fact i have chosen to do so in a few months or years back, when i realized there are people out there that i could not put in anymore hope.

Long ago read an article about the coldness and unconcern of the people in this big city that i staying in, and how people were detached from each other. I thought, it was understandable that every people has to rush and struggle for their survival in this very competitive city, and lots of crime that trying to steal people's heart away, that time i was truly grateful that i was still staying within a small campus, or college with my cute course mate, when i thought i was still under protection.

As years pass through, i realized this was not like what i imagined of, this small little society that i staying in is actually a shadow of what the real world is. As people know myself more, and i know people more. Sometimes i doubt, is it that i am too generous to be fooled on? Or i am too silent that i would not reply?

Today i sat with him on the same dining table, this person was once regarded as a very caring and friend of mine, he is quite popular among the course mate, he is smart and he knows how to make joke. Today he made a joke of mine, which was quite an offensive joke, for several times. I did not know how to reply, i just remained smile and try to say something else to distract him, he kept saying the same thing. My heart bleed, and i know i could not cry and i did not have to cry as well. This was not the first time he did the same thing to me, i wanted to tell him that i am not happy, i hoped for his understanding, but i was disappointed. At some point of time, i suspected that he purposely wanted to humiliate me, because i am slow, and silent. I know, this is the person that i no longer should put anymore hope into.

Some people talk with wisdom, and make people gain happiness and knowledge.
Some people talk with fun, and make people laugh.
Some people talk with intention, as they seek for popularity but they do not know, their words might hurt.
Some people talk carefully, as they do not want to offend and get offended.
Some people do not like to talk, as they do not care what other people say about them, because they never get involved in any of the affairs.

These are what i observed among my course mates, basically i can get along with all kind of people, but starting from today, i know i must be very careful and avoid myself to the 3rd kind of people. I always have a mind that i should cherish every single person in my life, including this person. I will forgive him, i try, but on the other hand, i will also try to stay away from him, or danger, i do not want to get hurt. I always try my best to be kind to everyone so that i can avoid myself from being attacked, i never join in any kind of gossip and always try to stop people from gossiping. I would regard myself as the careful type, but was that what i deserve?? Why should i suffer from what that person said?? At least from now, i know how to protect myself.