Can't be too grandiose

So long haven't been feeling depressed after finished examination. Today I just finished my psychiatric video test, hence my psychiatry posting is officially over. Whenever examination is over, normally people will respond it with a cheerful feeling because another examination is over, so do I, however, this time I really couldn't enjoy the cheerfulness, because I was so depressed.

Accoding to my coursemates who did psychiatric before, this is an easy subject and patients are easily manageable, and the examinations questions were always expected and very easy to answer, most importantly, many people could score A from this examination. I trust in it, as I also think this is not a though subject, and I expected myself to score A also, so long did not score A in any tests, as I am an average student.

After the written and the video tests, my mood dropped down so drastically, I even lost my temper (mildly), why they can asked so difficult questions and tricked us in the questions?? And for the video test, the patient was mumbling all over saying Malay that I could hardly understand, even my Malay colleagues also found it difficult to listen what she spoke. And she did not show signs of that particular diagnosis, which was mania. At the end, I diagnosed wrongly, and many of my friends did mention that it was again a though one and had different ideas about the diagnosis. Whatever it is, I had done my best and on few occasions, I was still blaming myself for not doing it as good as others who could diagnose it correctly.

I think I will no longer get A for this examination, will be very grateful if I can pass. I was so depressed, my mission was failed. Went out with her and 1 of my best friend, Min Min, and shared my sadness with them. Suddenly Min Min said "maybe you expected too much?" （你把目标放得太高了吧？）suddenly, I realized, it was me made myself suffered so much, I shouldn't compared myself to others who usually did well in all sorts of examinations, I can't be too grandiose! (grandiosity= inflated self esteem) When thinking from the other aspects, I did not put more efforts than usual to enable myself to score A, I just got prepared as little as I prepared for the other previous examinations. Do I deserve an A if I did not put enough in it?? I shouldn't have so stubborn （执着）, I should understand my level and if I wanted to achieve something, I should have planned better and even put more effort in it.

Thanks to her and Min Min. Hope my experience will not drag into next time and this can serve as a guidance for you in facing your similar problems. Sometimes people just can't be too grandiose, if not, you will suffer like a patient with bipolar mania!

It's not a pleasant Friday night

All these while i have been recording the pleasant or satisfactory moments in my life, but today, I am writing something quite usual, but the internal feeling is totally different.

Friday is my second favourite day in a week, after Saturday. Whenever it comes to Friday, no matter how much works I have on this day, I will have full of energy to finish them up quickly so that I can enjoy the pleasant night of Friday, waiting for the better Saturday.

It's all because of my incompetency, something should have done earlier, but I kept dragging it to the very last minute, and that's why I am suffering right now.

This is my second last week of my psychiatry posting, next Monday will be my end of posting test, not so worry about it as many coursemates who went through it said it is quite easy to score. Fine lets just believe what they say and I think I have quite good basic knowledge in this subject, hmm... shouldn't be a problem. Another matter is the 5 cases write up for the end of posting assessment, I just have submitted 1. Although I have already got cases to write on, but it took me 2 to 3 days to finish writing 1 case, as I was so distracted in writing the cases. While writing, I have to recall the story told by the patient, then started got into their story and analyzed what was actually happened to them, it was very very time and energy consuming.

Tonight, after my discussion with my study-group-mates, I came back again looking at this laptop, so stressed up and I have only 1 intention, which is to finish my works as quickly as possible!! Therefore no more enjoyment, unlike other Friday nights I usually have, that's why it's not a pleasant Friday night.

This morning, I went to 6th National Addiction Conference at Legend Hotel, learned something extra that we won't study ourselves, served with good foods, I felt so thankful, to my tutor who brought me there. However, this did not raise my interest towards psychiatry...

在大学最后一年的中秋节

哈哈！又是中秋节的题材，可是激发我写的，是一班年轻有活力的第一年学弟学妹。。。在大学过了五年的中秋，今年可算是令我最感动的一次。

大学第一年，我们在没有准证但又不能很开放的方式下，跟我们的学长学姐们过了我们在大学的第一个中秋，因为缺乏周详计划，场面有些失控，可是大家都还是很庆兴的！
大学第二年，忘记了。。。没印象。。。
大学第三年，在巴生，同学们在宿舍的羽球场搞中秋,可是我回家了。。。
大学第四年，学弟学妹们终于把中秋节办成是宿舍的主要活动了！可以堂堂正正的在宿舍过中秋，玩灯笼，吃月饼了！另一边厢，我也当了马大灯笼节舞台剧《渔梦中伤爱》的演员。
大学第五年，我被感动了，也许这也是我最后一年在大学过中秋吧？

今年的主题： 秋月圆，人聚圆，好诗情画意呢！

今天，特地早一点点下去看有什么样的展览，办得蛮不错一下，有灯谜（英文的）之外，还有可以玩的游戏。节目开始后，还有很好笑的multimedia presentation，因为是用漫画的方式来呈现玉兔和嫦娥的故事，好笑是因为配音很白痴！哈哈！表演方面有很有默契的西方大提琴配华人的箫和二胡演奏，改篇后的《月亮代表我的心》依然那么动听。此外，还有很无厘头的搞笑剧，男扮女装的学弟们简直恶心得让人想吐饭！最后，还有跳得蛮劲爆的传统和现代舞，经过这一晚后，简直会对某些学弟学妹们刮目相看！表演完后，我们还有提灯笼游宿舍，这可是我第一次在大学里提灯笼哦！过后，我们还有月饼和零食吃哦！

很搞笑的戏（喜）剧，虽然很无厘头，但依然欣赏他们的创意！Junior们，棒！

看到他们在台上创意的演出，不禁回想起以前在台上那种爱炫和贪玩的自己，时间过得那么快，转眼间我已变成台下看演出的人，还要注意自己的举止，毕竟总不能像第一年那么狂欢吧？回想起以前办活动的点点滴滴，开心的，心酸的，累的，都是那么值得感动。年轻人，总要经过这样的过程，才会长大吧？在不超过六个月的时间，我就要离开这个大学了，希望我们华人在马大医学系留下来的好传统得以继续延续下去，直到永久。。。加油吧！马大医学系！

大炮车与中秋节

上个星期六的中秋节，回了家跟家人庆祝，全家人都到了，只剩二姐她回夫家去，都算各有各的团圆啦！很离奇的，今年我新村的马华支会办了一个简单但内容丰富中秋庆祝会，有猜灯谜啦，灯笼和大炮车（坦克车）制作比赛！

节目开始的时候，猜灯谜那儿的次序虽然乱了点，但还好我依然猜到一个，挽回点面子。。。是这样的：“引人入胜”，猜一个职业。要猜的话就不要酱快往下看。。。答案揭晓咯。。。！

答案是。。。导游，容易吧？哈哈！还有一个很有意思的灯谜：“春雨绵绵郎未归”，猜一个字。想一想，答案要揭晓咯。。。！

是“一”。为什么呢？“春雨绵绵”就是春天里的太阳（日）不见了，所以剩下“春字的上半部”，“郎未归”就是“丈夫”不在，所以就剩下“一”咯！厉害吧？

讲到大炮车制作，其实这个是五十年代非常盛行的游戏，因为当时没有钱买灯笼，所以住在新村的人都到芭场去砍些像竹的材来建成大炮车，造就了很多会做大炮车的好手！当然，我爸就是一个！在我还是小学的时候，我爸曾经做过一个大炮车，给我哥，而我就有一个用Milo罐做成的“转转灯笼”。当这两个不同凡响的灯笼走在街上时，隆隆的吵声很自然地吸引了在其他小孩的目光！在他们的眼中，只有羡慕的份，而我们俩兄弟就很威风了！哈哈！制作大炮车的过程虽然不难，但需要的是创意和经验。这次老爸做大炮车，三两天就做好了，我都没有机会帮忙，只是帮忙装饰一下大炮车啦，当然也是依照老爸的意识去做。制成品，非常的好看！虽然小了点，但也拿到第二名哦！老爸厉害！

老爸制成的大炮车，帅吧？还有国旗哦！

传统的大炮车是可以把蜡烛点在里面的！

回途中，到了大姑家一趟，当时她正在拜月亮，家里附近挂满了灯笼，还有小孩玩乐的笑声。妈妈也有很多年没拜月亮了！想起以前的中秋的夜晚，我们兄弟姐妹总会把家里点得像个生日蛋糕，因为到处都是蜡烛和灯笼，（当然安全哦！）那么漂亮的晚上也是一年才一次，当然要尽兴的玩啦！随着一个一个因为长大而离开家园，那种从很多人一起玩到没人玩的中秋夜只有我最清楚了！现在唯有寄望小孩们能够一样感受到我们以前庆中秋的喜悦啦!

大姑拜月亮的枱上摆了许多拜月亮的必须祭品，枱下却有那么多灯笼！漂亮哦！

My Raya vacations

If you want to ask how busy a final year medical student can be, I think I will answer it's busy, but it's still tolerable, in my subjective way of thinking. However if we think objectively, I can tell that final year medical students only have 2 weeks duration of break for the whole 1 and a half year study, now you see how packed and tiring it is? 1 week for Hari Raya Aidilfitri and the other for Chinese New Year.

During this 1 week break, many of my coursemates went overseas, 1 group went to Bali Island, Indonesia and the other to Angkor Wat, Cambodia. Whereas for me, I chose to stay in Malaysia for spending my time with my family and her family. Both of us went to Johor Bahru from KL immediately after working.

In JB, we went to visit plenty of tourist spots...

During our bus journey to JB, we had a short supper break at the Yong Peng rest station.

at the seaside near the Singapore-Johor Causeway.

Sultan Abu Bakar Muzeum, not opened during Hari Raya...

an antique building within the compound of Sultan Abu Bakar Muzeum, few couples were shooting their wedding photos there.

JB clock tower and delicious Skudai duck feast.

JB Old Temple- of traditional vs modernization.

Malay houses at Danga Bay. (actually these are restaurants, but were closed during Raya festival)

sunset at seaside of Danga Bay.

After 3 days of short stay in JB, I followed again her family members went back to her hometown in Penang. There we also visited many places.

Penang Ferry experience, enjoyed the breeze!

Manhattan Beach at Ferringhi, Penang.

Siamese Lying Buddha Temple.

Burmese Buddhist Temple.

Botanical Garden.

Kek Lok Si Tenple

Bukit Genting Siamese cuisine, the "little Genting in Penang", ordinary food but breath-taking scenery!

As I am graduating very soon and surely there will be no much of break like this, so I always cherish the chance I have with my family and also her family, of course she also. Although I spent nearly the whole week with her family, I managed to be with my family at the last 2 days of my break, when they came to KL.

Really want to thank her for giving me such a memorable and enjoyable vacation.

1+1+1

Maybe you will wonder, what is the meaning behind this 1+1+1? A simple mathematical equation. Let's look at the following short film and hopefully you will get a little bit of idea from it.



It's true, in all sorts of society, we tend to group ourselves into groups, according to race, sex, interest etc, which are the most apparent things we can observe in almost everything we go through. Even within the same race, we also tend to group ourselves into smaller groups, with the people you feel good and share the same interest or opinions. Even with the same small groups of people, and you are so close to each other, you won't share the same thinking or the most valuable things all the time. Why is it so? Have you ever think of that?

Human, has to live in society, or in other words, we are not isolated. Even if we don't share the same culture, religion, beliefs, opinions and interests, we should not isolate each other, there is something called "sharing". Sharing is a very powerful item I think, as it creates understanding, and hoping that it in turn causes acceptance and appreciation.

Coming back to what is happening in Malaysia, the above shown is the situation we observe. Not only among the younger generations, it is even more severe in older generations, as they went through those hard time, and yet the racial problems is still carried on till now, with little or no improvements.

In the movie, 3 main characters representing 3 major ethnics in Malaysia, they go through the same things from the moment they wake up, having breakfast at dining hall, chatting over the same topics, and also shout in pain when their blood is taken, but what makes them so different from each other? Is that only the language? We can neither blame cultures nor religions, as they are heritages and should be preserved at all times, but what actually makes people so appart from each other? As I discussed above, probably there are lacking of sharing and understanding. When people forgot how to share, they never understand and tend to forget the importance of the existance of the other races and subsequently inequalities happened. Initially, I intended to bring out an issue of "we go through the same things, but what makes us so different?" One of the example of which would be the pre-university examinations. There are 3 pre-U examinations that I know of which are STPM, Matriculation and PASSUM. Although all 3 lead to the same local public universities, but the durations of study and its examination's difficulty are varied. We lead to a common destination, but why the paths are different? And "who", "how" and "what" make us so different? It's time for you to think.

Despite realizing the actual problems I portrayed- "seggregation", the more important step to do is to overcome it. Who should be responsible in making the change? It's us all, MALAYSIANS! We hope for change, understanding, equalities and peace, only with this we can bring harmony and productivity to this country, and therefore a developed nation.

How you can pronounce "1+1+1"? Either "yi jia yi jia yi", "satu tambah satu tambah satu", "one plus one plus one" or any other languages you know of. Special thanks to Andrew Mok who helped me with the ideas to improve Malaysia, and also Chuan Huan who helped me a lot in the post-production of the film.

Thank you for your view, together we might change Malaysia.

Lost in Klang Valley

Had a dinner with my sisters at 10pm yesterday at Look Out Point, Ampang, a place where you can enjoy the night view of Kuala Lumpur. Why having dinner at 10pm?? Hmm... some technical problems, let me explain...

Actually the date was at 7.45pm, my dear and I left for the destination from PJ at 7.40pm, because earlier we had jogging and we had to dress up ourselves for the date. Estimating reaching time will be in about 20 minutes, we rushed there with all the strength of the little "Kancil", luckily the road was not jam.

Honestly, we just been there once before this, and we were going there based on Google maps, our memory and a little bit of direction sense over there. We reached Cheras 10 minutes later at a round about and I struggle with which way to take as there were 2 options:
1. the previous memory told me to take around the streets in the gardens of Cheras.
2. Google maps and a friends I consulted earlier on told me to follow Kajang so that I can go there via Hulu Langat, an opposite direction from what I learned before.

In order not to mess up within Cheras, I took the second option and went down to Hulu Langat. Once reached there, I was totally not familiar with that place and no sign boards showing the direction to our destination. Went off the car to ask local people for help, few fellows directed me back to Ampang as there were sign boards showing the ways. OK I assumed there were no such road from Hulu Langat and followed their advise to Ampang. That time was 8.30pm.

Following the directions they told me, I came back back to the round about earlier on, this time I decided to take the 1st option and I went inside Cheras, the streets were really a mess and I gave up, go to Ampang lar...

Along the MRR2, I met Pandan Indah, a place where I thought was a entry to Look Out point, then I went into this garden, again it did not recall any of my memory and I knew I was at a wrong place. Went down the car again to ask for help, but the people there did not know the existence of such place, fine I called my brother-in-law for help, as they already reached that place from their home at Setapak, that time was 9.30pm. He directed me to Ampang Point and follow along Jalan Ampang. And to be on the safe side, I followed his advise although I knew it was going to be a very long way.

After several phone calls and a little lost at Jalan Ampang, finally I reached the place, at 10pm, and they were finishing their meals... I ordered ours and started taking some photos. About 1 half hour later, we end our date with joys and jokes and of course sweet memories. Special thanks to my 3rd sister, as she treated the meal!

finally could enjoy the fascinating night view of Kuala Lumpur...

starving... eat first!!!

from left to right: my 2nd sister, 3rd sister and 4th sister.

On the way back, we decided to go back PJ with our very 1st experience. Without much of lost, and one time of going down of the car to ask for direction from a policeman, we managed to reached PJ 1 hour later. This time, we really learned the way going to Look Out Point in a short distance.

Amazing right? Despite all the failures and anxious, I still managed to reach the place without much anger, and I never thought of giving up going there, as she told me it was such a rare chance we can have dinner with my family in KL especially my 3rd sister who just going to stay in Malaysia for 2 months after coming back from UK.

Well, sometimes I am quite admiring myself for the capacity I have. Now left few questions I had to answer although I don't know the answers.
1. Am I too stubborn? Once I decided to go, I never give up in looking for the way, ended up we having dinner so late and she had to drink milk in order to stop her gastritis, pity her.
2. My glucose store was actually quite sufficient huh?? Or I was in a very high sympathetic discharge state? As I could not feel any hunger? But I knew I was very thirsty.
3. How can I not remember the way going there? Although I was initially very confident to go there by own memory in a short time, towards the end I found that confidence sometimes disastrous.
4. I learned 3 different ways of going Look Out Point in a night, didn't I? And I went almost 1/5 of Klang Valley in 2 hours!! Which is equivalent to the time I can travel back my hometown, Bidor.
5. I used up half of the tank of the petrol... what a waste... haih...

the restaurant- Look Out Point!

self taken... before leaving.