你以为我没听见吗

2011年4月9日 星期六 晴


最不喜欢你变不开心了，每次都要我哄你！
最心疼你变不开心了，把工作压得自己那样！
你知道的，我不会说哄人的话，
每次都要把我考倒，
知道你因工作不开心了，
好吧今天就顺你的心一些！
不要每次都说我不让你吃！

“辣子板面真是好吃，辣到把不开心的事都辣出来了！”
知道你一定会很满意这一餐了吧？
虽然是很便宜的一餐。
“我知道你是最好的。。。”
“吓？”（我听不到）
“我知道你是最好的！”
“吓？”
虽然稍微大声了一点，可我还不过瘾。
“风吹走了咯。。。”
“吓？”
其实本意是“你说什么？！”
“风吹走了！”


你以为我没听见吗？^^

To some egoistic medical officers

"What makes a difference between a medical officer and a house officer?? not knowledge, not the age, but TIME..." quoted from my paediatric consultant Dr. Irene.

Recently just shifted from paediatric posting to Obstetric and Gynaecology (O&G) posting. Whenever there is a change of posting, we will be treated as "freshie" in the new posting although we were used to be a quite senior and trusted one in the previous posting, and that's why "tagging".

For all new housemen in O&G HKL, we will have to carry a tagging log book with us so that we know how to perform some essential procedures and recognize emergencies in O&G. Thankfully to the training i had during medical school time by my beloved University of Malaya, I can finish my job quite easily. Then before off tagging, we have to go through another viva test from either medical officers or specialists. After a week of tagging, I came across this Dr. S (a MO) in my ward, so I asked her for the off tagging viva. She asked me regarding a "uterine rupture" case, this is a case i never met during student time or during this 1 week of tagging period, with logical thinking and basic knowledge that I have, I was able to answer some although it's been almost a year ago when I revised my O&G stuffs for my final MBBS examination, and tagging is just too tiring for revision. Later when I could not answer some other questions, she started became frustrated and did not pass me in this viva in the end, saying things like "stop giving me stupid answers..."

If she can put herself in my position, I would like to know how does she will feel when being humiliated like this. We are all still learning, from HO to MO even to the specialist, why these so called "seniors" like to humiliate their juniors like this?? They were HO before this, were they not as stupid as us when they first joined O&G? Even if they are so "experienced", they still give stupid answer to the consultant "post-operative patient who have paralytic ileus is due to electrolyte imbalance caused by anaesthetic agents..." what a joke seriously. If I do not know something after I learned about O&G in the 4 months period of O&G posting in medical school and 1 week period of tagging, so what have you learned, my MO, in your years of practising O&G?

Even if the MO are bosses to us, we are still working together, we are colleagues, why they have to act so bossy and say something directive to us??

I respect the seniority of MO and their knowledge or experience (only if they have), and I accept constructive criticism from the bosses, but please prove yourself that you are knowledgeable to scold people. And before you do so, please put yourself in others position, are you actually doing a right thing? Is it beneficial? To you? Or to the one you are going to hurt?

"I bother to teach just because when I am old, I am might be be treated by you, or my children or my grandchildren are going to be taught by you, so I must make sure the knowledge is passed on, there must be continuation!!" This is the last talk I got from her, my ex-specialist in paediatric, Dr. Farah during my last few days in paediatric, whom I thought she always made my life miserable. Thanks for telling me this, it makes me even more faithful in this route of becoming a medical academician.

"Please be humble to everything in this world, as we are human, human do make mistakes, and is learning from time to time..." a scenery from one of the window of Maternity Hospital KL building, taken during my paediatric posting when I was oncall for SCN (Special Care Nursery).

the price of a "chicken"-pox

Chickenpox is caused by varicella zoster virus infection, a virus from the human herpes viruses group, sounds very medical isn't it? Every people says that every person will have at least once of contacting chicken pox in his/her life no matter how young or how old he/she is. After the primary infection, it can offer life long immunity until the immune system declines, then secondary infection will reactivate as "shingles".

I got this chickenpox at the age of 24, it happened last week, when I was working in SCN (Special Care Nursery- for premature babies and newborns). I was oncall on 8/12 and my fever started at night of 9/12, my post call day. My fever persisted until the next morning, considering that I was taking care of newborns which are susceptible to infection, I took a day off from works so that I won't spread my infection to them. In the evening, She noticed that I was having rash on my body and was confirmed to be chickenpox by a private general practitioner, actually went to him just for the seek of getting a MC for that day... ha! And lastly I got my MC for a week from outpatient department HKL, because I have to stay away from the babies!!

Went back hometown for a week. Rashes developed at whole body after 3 days of fever, felt so upset when I felt that my face became uneven with raised vesicles. My mother and sister kept telling me that these rash will disappear once recovered as they saw me looked sad, so caring right?? I also had bad sore throat and wisdom toothache, made me suffered to all kinds of food including water, some more mum said I have to stop eating some "toxic" food eg eggs, seafoods, black coloured food, green beans, bean sprouts... basically i really felt boring towards food on that few days la.

Chickenpox on face, felt so upset when my face was felt uneven with raised vesicles, felt so ugly that time...

All the fever and rash became settling approaching day 5 or 6 of fever, and I returned to work on day 11, which was on Sunday, when I was called to do the on call, when nobody willing to replace me for my weekend call.

Although my symptoms might not be as bad as what other people having (after shared by my MO, he even got varicella keratitis, vesicles inside the eyes and has got to be admitted to hospital), and my recovery was quite fast, I still have to pay for the loses I have for this "disaster":
1. I lost 8 days of leave because of MC, plus the 3 days off I took during my 4th sister's wedding, which mean I have to be extended for 3 days in this posting.
2. I suffered from it.
3. I have to lost around RM 100 to buy some beauty products so that the post-chickenpox marks on my face will be disappeared as soon as possible, and hopefully my skin will become better after using products as expensive as this!!!
4. I got a warning letter from my consultant for not telling the office that I was on medical leave, hello I have informed my houseman colleagues and I thought it was still be valid if I informed to the lady consultant via SMS.

What did I earn from this? I got special care from my mother especially for whatever she cooked for me for that few days, although I did not show interest towards those food, but I think those were the best food I could have during the illness, and I really appreciate it. Not to forget also my darling who has always been supportive to me to fight my illness. I love you all!!

Story in Internal Medicine

Has been quite free for the past 2 weeks, ever since I joined Paediatric Institute, Kuala Lumpur Hospital (HKL), for my new and second posting as a houseman. At least for the past 2 weeks, i was able to enjoy my weekends at home, finished watching my favourite Hong Kong drama series, and restarted writing my diaries here.

I first started as a houseman in Medical posting of HKL, the 3rd largest hospital in Asia and the largest in South East Asia, where people call it a "mad house". Somemore I was in the busiest ward (ward 18) in HKL, another "mad house", which mean i was working in the "mad house of the mad house"! Accomodating 60 beds, and sometimes extension beds might add up to 100 beds in total in this single ward, with the fastest turn over rate of admissions and discharges, and working 7 days a week, it made me felt that my life was very measerable at times, i used to ask my nurses "kenape hidup ni susah ye??" (why is this life so difficult??), and they could never give me any answers, I even thought of quiting my medical life. Haha quite a stupid thought wasn't it?? Whatever it was, I went through it with all the blessings and hard works i had to give.

The day I studied for my viva in the ward, we have to pass this assessment before we could be freed from medical posting and proceed to the next posting.

relax la... have a narcistic shot first! haha... during this time I was taking care of the first class medical ward, so a bit free to do revision in the private empty room. Basically, the so-called first class in HKL with single rooms, double bedded rooms and 4 bedded rooms are equivalent to the "3rdd class" in UMMC.


night view in HKL, taken during 1 of the on calls... hoping the night will be calm and safe, staying alert, waiting the sunrise of the next day...

Thanks to everyone who helped me out when I faced difficulties,
thanks to those who forgive my mistakes and gave me a chance to prove myself that I never will repeat the same mistakes again,
thanks to those who really been sarcastic to me, so that I could improve myself better,
thanks to my patients who always have confidence in me,
thanks to my family that always understand that I was busy that I might not be calling them very often,
and also thanks to my darling who always understandable, caring, loving and do houseworks for me.

And now I left this troublesome medical posting with pride, continuing my journey in looking after children, picking up my confidence and competency every day...

小儿科啦。。。（广东）

无心害你

终于把《溏心风暴之家好月圆》看完了！就好像把一件事做完一样，可以面对另外一些事情了！很开心，因为一个家庭终于可以得到属于他们的幸福，而说谎的人，最终可以面对自己，真正的去做人该做的事，真是一个大好结局呀!很佩服篇剧能把人心的善和美写得那么贴实，这些事就好像发生在我们身边的人一样，做人不得不防啊！

另外一样让我佩服的是菊姐唱的主题曲，《无心害你》。虽然说这首歌就好像在唱出殷红（超级坏蛋二奶，米雪的角色）的心声，可是歌词却投射了剧中的每一个人物。



开头四句，说明了再简单再幸福的一个家庭，都会免不了一些事情，会别离，再多么风光的的财富，都会有过去的一天，家庭的幸福是成员们建立起来的，就算没了Jo饱，荷妈和孩子们都是靠他们自己的努力守着这头家；相反殷红的所作所为，最终连他自己的女儿也无法忍受，落得了自食其果的下场，无常的人生，总需为自己的业障负责任。

最欣赏的一句歌词是“谁想讲骨气，最先必须有一些储备”，要讲骨气，要行正义的人，都必须要懂得做人的道理，身体力行，那样才可以以德服人，得到别人的认同，所以才会有荷妈这一个角色！

殷红耍心计，人人看了觉得可怕，因为她是用来害人的。其实，荷妈也在用心计，可是她是用来保护她的家人的，不然怎么能把殷红的招数见招拆招，一个女人顶了一头家那么多年呢？

。。。。“无非人生道理。。。原本无心害你”

Hardworking

"I think you will become a specialist in 5 years time...." a patient said.

"why???"

"because you are so hardworking..." he replied.

"erm... uncle, hardworking doesn't mean i am smart enough to become a specialist..." I explained.

This was one of the most encouraging sentence I heard since started working, felt happy and funny at the same time because to me, hardworking doesn't equate success, but of course, hardworking does increase the chance of success exponentially.

What the patient observed did not really show that I am a hardworking guy, in fact, there are so many works a houseman have to do taking care of the patients, that's why, non stop working = hardworking, to them lo...

At least I felt my effort was appreciated by somebody else, that was really good enough to hear that, ahha!!

If only I can study the whole stacks of books, then that is the real hardworking to me... haha!!

Life before working

So long didn't have any news of mine written here already, where have I been to ar?? After a long break in May, went to a endocrine conference in Ipoh to present my elective poster, got the chance to stay in the 4 stars rated hotel in Ipoh, Impiana Casuarina, for free... haha!!

My elective thyroid poster, my lecturer Dr. Vijay is like almost the same age as me haha...

Impiana Casuarina Hotel, didn't think of i would have chance to stay in it, cause Ipoh is quite near to my hometown.

Then, went for Ministry of Health Induction Course before we started working as a houseman in hospitals. Stay and enjoy the 3 stars hotel rooms and food for 1 week, again it's for free, some more we started to have our salary counted in already!! Yeah!

The view from the window of Putra Hotel KL, the KLCC.

fully-equipped double room^^

basically the Malay cuisine served in Putra Hotel, tasted not bad also la...

the farewell, strive for our own career...

Officially started working in the very beginning of June, went through a very hard life in my life, and still, I am going through it, felt so dis-hearted working as a houseman. Initially this would be a very sorrow diary, however, I choose to write it a more delightful way, because I choose to live this way, and not be affected by other people. The sad stories, perhaps I will share it next time??